what is it?: dating violence takes on many forms

are you? | dating violence | warning signs

Physical

  • Having objects thrown at you.
  • Being held or otherwise restrained from leaving.
  • Being hit, bitten, pushed, slapped, punched, and/or shoved.
  • Being abandoned away from home without transportation
  • Being subjected to reckless driving.
  • Being threatened with a weapon.

Emotional

  • Being sworn at, demeaned, and threatened
  • Being told "no one else would want you" or "I don't know why I waste my time with you."
  • Being continually criticized, called names and yelled at for reasons ranging from not being where you are supposed to be, to talking to someone else.
  • Having your most valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or socio-economic class ridiculed or insulted.
  • Having your friends/family insulted and/or driven away.
  • Being put down, ignored, or called names.
  • Having approval, appreciation, and affection withheld as punishment.
  • Questioned about what you do when you are not with them.
  • They may use jealousy or anger to intimidate you or to control your behavior, or might deliberately humiliate you in front of others.
  • Being manipulated with lies, contradictions, and broken promises.
  • Being humiliated in public or private.
  • Having your feelings, and maybe even your presence, ignored.
  • Threatening to hurt themselves or others if you break up with them.

Sexual

  • Being forced to engage in sexual activity, sadistic sexual acts, and or any other unwanted sexual acts.
  • Being forced to strip or dance provocatively.
  • Being called sexual names like "whore" and "slut".
  • Being witness to anti-woman jokes, demeaning remarks about women and treatment of women as sex objects.
  • Being subjected to jealous anger based on the assumption that you would rather have sex with other persons.

What's Love Got to do With It?
It can be hard to see whether your boyfriend / girlfriend's behavior is actually abusive, or it can be hard to find a word for it. They might try to convince you that their jealous and possessive behavior is because they love you. But this kind of treatment isn't love; it's control.